PixAhoy!

Week 9

2008-11-17T22:29:00.012-06:00

The week started with a meeting of the commencement committee. With fall midterms barely behind us, the committee was knee-deep in making arrangements for the end of the year in May. Where does the time go?

We met in the library coffee shop and surrounded ourselves with all of the necessary supplies - pads, pens, Snapple, coffee, and potato chips.

It was a week full of meetings. Here we have the prestigious members of the social/rec committee (or, as well like to call it, the social/wreck committee) planning the big Bagel Bash coming in December. And really, it looked like a social/wreck meeting with the collection of Xbox controllers on the coffee table, the thunder sticks on the floor that were left over from that morning's Sarah Palin ralley, the full Guitar Hero World Tour set up in the corner and...

...Kevin. I mean, have you ever seen a bigger, more social wreck than this guy?? For clarification, that's slightly chewed P'zone hanging out of his mouth. Oh Kevin, where have you been all my life?

And we haven't really had a social/wreck meeting until we've been ambushed by Eric and a raining fire of countless nerf bullets.

Not to be outdone, Kevin decided that when it comes to nerf wars, size matters.

Then one thing led to another and the whole bloomin' arsenal came out.

So naturally, the rest of us had no choice but to grab a gun and start firing at will. Before the evening was over, there were multiple overturned pieces of furniture and one bloody nose (not mine or there would have been a picture of it).

As far as I was concerned, any bullets than landed in the stink were just going to have to stay lost forever. Guys....sheesh. (Note the overturned recliner and coffee table in the background.)

We got our senior picture proofs this week, and since Rupe was the only one of us who actually liked his photos, he won this prestigious spot on the blog.

I was running rather low on pictures for the week, so I've decided to fill space by giving you a behind-the-scenes look at Pixahoy! (David Letterman used to refer to such attempts as "Hal Guerney network time killers".) This is the nerve center. It's the corner of the producer's apartment where the blog magically springs to life - fully equipped with five different versions of the Bible, a Hebrew Torah, a Greek New Testament, Calvin's Institutes of the Christian Religion, a Book of Order, a Book of Confessions, a Book of Common Worship, about a zillion text books, a pile of index cards, and a USB cord that connects the camera to the laptop. It's all very high tech, you see.

This is the fuel that powers the blog - McDonald's coke and prescription medication. (I keed, I keed. Well....actually....I don't.)

This is where the producer kicks off her shoes when she gets home each evening.

This is what the producer does when she is plagued by incurable writer's block - she window shops on Ebay.

This is where the producer hatches all of her best ideas. (Have I killed enough time yet?)

Week 8

2008-11-17T21:18:00.018-06:00

Rupe! It's good to see you again, my brother.

I told Emily that nearly every picture I have of her involves a curious display of her tongue. Her response, "Yeah, that's the plan."

I get this look from Andrew at least once a day. Now, you can't tell from the picture, but he's actually about 5'4" and probably weighs 90 pounds dripping wet. In other words, I could snap him in half over my knee. So really, all I have to say to this pose is...isn't he just so precious??

Occasionally Mindy just spontaneously bursts into tears. I think it has something to do with...

...see no evil, hear no evil, and speak no evil. Their presence sometimes reduces me to tears, too.

You may have noticed from these past few pictures that we weren't having chapel in our usual location. (By the way, awesome gaping pie hole, Anne!) We had to move worship across the courtyard when we showed up for chapel and discovered that it had been transformed into...

...THIS!! The undergrads had moved in and (unbeknownst to us) transformed it into their stage for a production of "Wiley and the Hairy Man". Now I don't want to go into any details, but I've known a hairy man or two in my day, and none of them had a very liturgical ethos about them. Clearly, overcoming the swampish environment of the hairy man so that we could worship would be challenging, but I still thought we were up for it. For instance...

...here, from the Garden of Eden, we have the lesser known Tree of the Knowledge of Snot and Weevils. In the background you can see where Jacob props up his ladder when it's not in use.

Here we see the tree where Judas hanged himself, evidenced by the askew limb that had to be bolted back in place...

...and really, isn't it every preacher's dream to proclaim the Word directly in front of the spot where Judas "fell headlong, bursting asunder in the midst, and all his bowels gushing out" (Acts 1:18 - see what fascinating things are in the Bible, kids)??? Alas, less creative minds than mine prevailed and chapel was moved across the courtyard.

As a tip-of-the-hat to hairy men everywhere, we decided to go out for some Greek food. Me, Rupe, Kate...

...and this guy. He's so shady. Literally.

I heart Jeff.

Monte, Emily, and Justin are holding something that I'm sure is probably edible. Emily has the gift of hospitality and loves us with food. And really, God bless her for it! We never complain.

The coffee mugs that we carry around with us stand as testimony that we are a seminary that truly celebrates diversity.

This week we also had family chapel (again, far away from the hairy man - for the sake of the children, you see). So Miss Hannah came to play her clarinet.

And Miss Morgan played the violin. Both performances were inspiring.

I think the hairy man is trying to find a way in.

Grant's daughter is wearing the quintessential little girl outfit - a satin kimono, white tights with rainbow hearts on them, and shiny black snow boots! An outfit of all her favorite things! How awesome is that?

Jeff wants my daughter to know that thanks to this blog, he can see her when she's sleeping and knows when she's awake - just like Santa! (Or maybe a hella creepy hairy man.)

Our CNP group (the same group that pilgrimaged to Louisville together) had dinner at Bonnie Sue's house. When Gary arrives, you know the party has really started - mostly because he's awesome, but also because he brings the food.

Look at what a sweet puppy Jessie is! Personally, I think Brad's reaction is proof that vampires have stolen his soul.

We had a big ol' mess of Chinese food! Thanks, Gary!!

At the end of the week, I made a trip home for Halloween. Here we see Indiana Max getting reading to comb the neighborhood for candy with his friends Brandon and Ian. As you can see, it's very serious business.

Zoe's friends went all gansta in our front yard.

Whenever I go home, Max and I don't let the weekend pass without a cut throat game of Quiddler (like Scrabble, only with cards instead of tiles)...

...and as you can see from this hand, while I was busy spelling actual words, Max had nothing in his hand but the lyrics to Old MacDonald.

That's right. I skunked him. HOLLA!!

Zoe never challenges the master at Quiddler on account of she's yella. That's right - you got SERVED, sista!

Week 7 (The number of completion for you Johannine scholars!)

2008-10-29T11:09:00.003-05:00

You surely notice a sparseness of photographic evidence that Week 7 actually occurred. Here's the thing...

At the end of Reading Week, I did, in fact, drop the hot pink camera in the parking lot at Wendy's (or, as my family calls it, "the fancy place"). After Tryg (my brother - see pics below) and Brandee (sister-in-law, see other pics below) sat in Wendy's sweating bullets because I was letting Emma and Josiah run loose all over "the fancy place" with my camera (they were so sure one of the kids would drop it), Auntie Dawn ended up being the destructor of such a nice looking, spunky little pink camera. There was wailing and gnashing of teeth! Okay, not really. Mostly just some gasps of horror and, if memory serves, a "Smooth move, Exlax!" from Tryg (oh, junior high, how we miss you). But to its credit, the spunky pink camera did come apart with amazing pinache when it hit the pavement. It had attitude and flare until the bitter end!

So no, there aren't really any pictures of Week 7. It seems an interesting bit of biblical irony that Week 7 would end up being so incomplete when the Apostle John wrote his Gospel in cycles of 7 since 7 is the number of God's completion. All I have to say about that is clearly Christ's beloved never owned a pink camera. But here's the thing...

Some of you were so despondent over the death of the spunky pink camera and fearful that this little pictorial journey might come to a grinding halt that I have been gifted with a new camera!! Now I know what you're wondering - you're thinking to yourself, "...but is it pink??"

YES, MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS!! THE NEW CAMERA IS PINK!!!! I mean, is there any other kind of camera?

So we're back in business - me, Itsy and Bitsy, and our new pink camera. (You might be interested to know that hamsters are actually much more resilient than pink cameras when dropped. You can drop hamsters over and over again, but a pink camera you can only drop once. Anyhoo...)

So come on back next week for another chapter in our plucky little journey! Oh...and thanks for the new camera!

SAY CHEESE!!!

Fall Reading Week

2008-10-20T18:47:00.016-05:00

Reading Week always means I get to take a trip home, even if it's only for a few days. But I get to do fun things with my family. For instance, here you see me preparing to serve dinner at church with mom. I expect to receive a tersely worded e-mail from her shortly about posting this goofy picture of her. But hey, I look good!

Here we see mom instructing me on the proper way to slice a bundt cake. Apparently my almost masters' degree doesn't increase mom's confidence in my ability to wield a knife.

Max, on the other hand, was just tickled to be in the same room with cake.

We had excellent help and lots of amusing conversation with our friends Liz...

...and Bill (always dapper in his hat).

That looks like some mighty fine cake cuttin' to me. That's like, ninja level cake cutting. Wax on, wax off, grasshoppah.

Did I mention that we had cake?

Posting this picture on the internet has just guaranteed that I will be receiving no Christmas presents this year.

I also got to go to one of Zoe's drill meets. It's all very serious - lots of standing at attention, saluting, formation making...

...splitting a can of Coke with your best friend...

...making dorky faces at your mother. Okay, perhaps it's not serious at all and the military just has the wool pulled over our eyes.

I don't remember what this is called, but it's like a big game of military Simon Says. All of the students from each school stand in formation and have orders barked at them. If you blow it, you get dismissed from the floor. Zoe (front row, left end) was the fourth cadet to be dismissed, apparently for making eye contact with the drill sargeant. The nerve! I bet if the military had staring contests, she would totally clean up.

I got to spend time with the rest of the family, too. Here's my brother, Tryg. I don't recall if this was a really annoying game of "I'm not touching you," or an emphatic request for me to pull his finger. Really, it could have gone either way.

And while the grown ups (whatever!) talked, we turned the photography assignment over to Emma...

...and Josiah. Let's see how they did...

...A still-life. Very nice...

...A close up for Mr. DeMille. Good, good...

...A shot of daddy's ass. Interesting choice of subject...

...A random tonsil search. Always a good idea...

...Ummm, okay, I think we're getting distracted. Maybe we should try to coax more emotion out of our models. How about rage? Could you give us some abject rage?...

...Yes!! Excellent!! What about total disinterest?...

...Perfect!! How about a dash of fruity cousin in the background?...

...Spot on, I say!!...

...And clearly we've come up against a brick wall.

Before heading back to school, Zoe and Max and I took a trip to the pumpkin patch. Here we see Max hanging out at the petting zoo with Larry the Llama. Or maybe it was Llarry the Llama.

It's almost like they're looking in the mirror.

We made friends with some scarecrows.

We stumbled across this scarecrow of Big Bird which is every bit as creepy as it sounds.

Max nabbed this very rotund specimen.

Zoe opted for a more petite gourd.

For me, it's not about size as much as color. I like for my pumpkins to still have some green on them. It makes them look like they're not quite finished...like me.

Egads.

And doesn't this picture of a 14-year-old girl with her mom pretty much say it all?

Max was much more compliant.

Have you ever seen a more gorgeous head of red hair?

Have you ever seen two more gorgeous heads of red hair?

True story. As we were passing through the pumpkin farm market on our way out, Max, who is amazingly brilliant and wants to work for NASA when he grows up, points to this piece of produce and says to me, completely seriously, "Mom, you should have gotten that pumpkin. It's still really green."

Week 6

2008-10-13T22:25:00.012-05:00

This week the Company of New Pastors headed south for a conference in Louisville, Kentucky - the "Mecca" of Presbyterianism. And since coffee consumption is one of the Presbyterian sacraments, we couldn't hit the road without a quick Starbucks stop. Notice that Matt is our token double-fisted drinker.

We stopped to have lunch at the culinary utopia that is Arby's. You can see that nearly all of us broke bread together, except for...

Gary who decided to form his own leper colony. Actually, he was on the phone with his wife and didn't think that our presence would add any value to that conversation. I can't imagine why.

Somewhere in the middle of Indiana, traffic came to a grinding halt because of construction work. So we killed 15 minutes watching this maverick construction barrel roll all over the highway between cars in a live-action game of construction barrel "Frogger". The excitement was palpable.

But our enthusiasm was rechanneled when we successfully negotiated a time zone changing of the dashboard clock in the minivan. It's the little things, kids.

I never knew that Matt was such an afficionado of Runts before this trip. See what fascinating things you can learn when you leave town with a minivan full of your best friends?

And after many, many long hours in the van, we finally crossed the river into Louisville. Yay!!

This is the fine exxxstablishment that was located across the street from our hotel. It seems only appropriate that a hotel full of pastors would be adjacent to the Love Boutique since 1 John reminds us that "God is love."

We ran into our good friend Sharon who transferred to Columbia Seminary last year. It's always good to stumble upon old friends.

We decided that nothing says "zany pastors cuttin' loose" like a late night game of bowling. I'm not sure why Chris is licking his shoe, but hey, you know...whatever.

Matt was in charge of setting up the scoreboard. My bowling name was Flo. I couldn't get any of the others to buy into my theory that everybody should have a three-letter bowling name - Flo, Lou, Sid, Bud, Fay, Ike - see how those all have a proper bowling name sound about them? And besides that, three letter names are Trinitarian.

Ryan wins the award for effeminate pose of the night. And yet I couldn't get him to pick a bowling name.

After bowling, we stumbled upon a piano bar where I fell in love with this guy. Oh yeah, I am soooo over Charlie Gibson.

Chris lept at the chance to dance on stage. Here we see him giving us the universal symbol for unicorn. Yeah...that's what it means...unicorn.

And because I was the loudest participant in the bar, our table won the bucket of "magic elixir" that you see in the middle of the table. I'm really glad to know that all of my training in opera wasn't a complete waste of time and money.

When we got back to the hotel, we discovered that the seat of Emily's jeans had met an unfortunate demise while we were bowling. A moment of silence, please.

Meanwhile, back at the Presbyterian center, this is the first piece of artwork one encounters when walking through the door. Seriously. I think this is another occasion when y'all really need to write your own caption.

But artwork aside, the architecture was illuminating and theologically fascinating.

Jeff decided to try his hand at artwork by taking a picture of his own tonsils. Suitable for framing, my brother!

Here we are on the front steps of the Presbyterian center. What a well-behaved looking group of pastors! (Work with me, people.)

I think it was at this point in the weekend that we all started to get a bit punchy. Brad decided that for the rest of the weekend, it was his personal mission to make his way into every photo I took. For instance....

This is a picture of Hosung. Oh nuts, hold on...

THIS is a picture of Hosung. D'oh!! Dangit, Brad! Hold on...

THIS is a picture of Hosung, which can only mean that Brad must be in the bathroom.

Really, Brad? That's your best game face?? 'Cause it is ON, my brotha!

We found a great pub Saturday night. This is suppose to be a nice picture of Brad welcoming all of us to the table, but it ended up having a much more sinister feel to it...like we're all being brought in to get wacked by Tony Soprano.

So we enlisted our waitress Sly (her real name) to keep the Godfather in his place.

And we had Jeff put on his best puppy dog eyes because who could possibly wack a guy with puppy dog eyes??

We were pleased to discover that we would be ordering our drinks from the Beverage Bible. (Notice the presence of Brad in the background. Picture hog.)

Me! I had the very important job of being the toast master. Toast mistress? Toast maven? How about we just say I was the chick in charge of making the toast. (Photo by Matt.)

I think this pose just shot sinister in the a$$.

Then we walked several blocks down the street where we stumbled upon this polka band playing their last song of the night.

There was just enough time for Brad and Emily to cut a serious polka rug!

They were really very good!

Okay, I really don't know what this picture was intended to be other than ongoing evidence that Brad is the world's most skilled photo hijacker. Kudos, my friend. I bow to your superior abilities.

This is our new friend, Karl. We met him at Oktoberfest and couldn't resist getting a picture with him. He was a colorful dude.

It's hard to tell in this picture, but Karl (who had clearly been consuming copious amounts of beer for many, many hours) is balancing on one foot in the squatted position with the other foot in the air. He held the pose long enough for me to get out the camera and snap the picture. Then he stood back up without ever putting his elevated foot on the ground. Really amazing!

And we couldn't let the evening end without everyone pointing to their favorite pronunciation of Louisville.

We headed home on Sunday and capped off a great weekend by successfully navigating the minivan dashboard clock back to central standard time. And yes, those are Brad's thumbs.

Week 5

2008-10-06T21:34:00.016-05:00

Have I mentioned lately how much I love this choir? 'Cause I do.

As Elissa and Jordan demonstrate, chapel is often a family affair.

Rupe, launching the sleeve from my coffee cup to the other side of the room. But I must say, he had excellent form.

Kate and me in Forgiveness class.

This is Monte. At one point I realized that my camera was missing only to discover that Monte had swiped it and was snapping pictures down the front of his shirt. Oy vey.

But how serious can any class be when Dr. Phil is in charge?

Yeah, yeah...I know he's cute and he makes you want to bundle him up and take him home with you. But then you have to feed him and water him, take him for walks, get him house broken, scoop up the messes he leaves in the yard...

When Itsy and Bitsy decided to go on a four-day hunger strike this week, I threatened to replace them with this guy - a hairless rat that's for sale at PetSmart. Though he's trying desperately to avoid the paparazzi in this picture, he's actually quite personable.

He's got an interesting sort of charm about him, huh?

But I decided to keep the hamsters since I had already signed them up for the hamster races this weekend. Here we see the girls with Morgan and Hannah, their official "handlers" for the day. Check out the woman in the background with the bullhorn. I need a job with a bullhorn. I wonder what kind of job would require large groups people to listen captively while I talked into some form of amplification device for, like, an entire morning at a time? Hmmm...lemme think...

The girls stayed limber in their holding corrals (aka shopping baskets) while we waited for the races to begin. At one point, Itsy got so jazzed that she busted out of her pink ball, but she quickly realized that she was in the land of giants and voluntarily re-entered her ball.

Look at tiny little Bitsy on the end. How, I ask you, how were my little girls suppose to keep up with those enormous rats?? (Yes, they really were rats.) Still, the girls brought their mighty fighting spirits and each came in 2nd in their individual heats.

And like all great sporting events, it was followed by a trip to Dairy Queen.

Don't worry, the racers got a treat, too. This hamster "candy bar" should keep them busy for a while.

This is my new Sunday morning "home" - the First Baptist Church in Iowa City, just across the street from the University of Iowa campus. Imagine that...a divorced woman preaching in a Baptist church. And not just any divorced woman, but me. God's humor, huh? It means that I spend three hours on the road each Sunday, so even when I'm not traveling, I'm still traveling. There is, indeed, no rest for the wicked, my friends.

Week 4

2008-09-28T22:15:00.019-05:00

Matt and I always go to chapel early on Wednesdays because we love to listen to the choir rehearse before worship begins. It's our favorite part of the week.

I mean, isn't this the face of joy??

It takes an act of God to get everyone to simmer down so chapel can begin, and professors are the worst.

Here's Kelsey with Skip (Assistant Dean of Seminary Students) who isn't nearly as clueless as he looks in this picture.

Sure, Kevin looks cute as a button when he's standing next to Kelsey...

...but he's actually a maniacal double-fisted pastry eater with a ziploc baggie full of cash shoved in his armpit.

The backpacks sit so patiently while the Presbyterians have lunch. They're like children waiting to be picked up by their parents after daycare.

This week's activity at Tables - racing to see who could finish the placemat puzzles first. Past experience has shown that we can't be trusted with MadLibs.

Snapping surprise pictures of Matt isn't nearly as amusing to me when they actually come out good. I don't know why he puts up with me.

Les (Professor of Discipleship and Teaching) is an all-around cool guy and TOTALLY the bee's knees even though he threatened to take my camera away from me for using flash photography in the middle of his lecture. (But I'm sure he was chuckling on the inside.)

Each month the Company of New Pastors meets for dinner at the home of Bonnie Sue Lewis(Professor of Mission and Evangelism). One of the highlights is getting to play with her dog, Jessie. He's such a good doggie that he almost makes me want to get a pooch of my own. But then I get over it.

I'm finding that one of the joys of carrying a camera with me everywhere I go is that I often find "surprises" when I download the pictures each week. For instance, I didn't take this completely flattering picture of Ryan...

...nor did I take this picture of Gary (although it's a keeper!)...

...nor did I take this picture snapped by Shakey the Cameraman. I suspect that Matt is the prankster behind these candid shots, but since he's taking them with a hot pink camera with a sparkly wrist strap, who is the joke REALLY on??

Apparently this series of pictures is an ode to the tongue.

God calls all kinds.

Even without knowing what Gary and Matt are talking about, I am entirely positive that this conversation is completely decent and in order.

The best part of the week was a surprise visit when my BFF Barb came tripping through town. Not only were Barb and I roommates for two years, we even shared the same bathroom and occasionally - though entirely unintentionally - the same towel. Barb is proof that there is not only life, but JOY after seminary!

Week 3

2008-09-22T21:30:00.021-05:00

Please go away, Mr. Spider. I'm scared of you.

This appears to be a very serious late night library conversation among seminarians, but if we pan to the other end of the table, I give you...

...Exhibit A, and also...

...Exhibit B, which were launched by...

...Exhibit C. Good grief.

I have the girls in training for the hamster races coming up at Petco in a few weeks. Bitsy is off like a bullet...

...but Itsy can't figure out how to negotiate the carpet hump, so she's stuck in exile in the land of linoleum.

Max brought this "prize" home from church, of all places - a rubber monkey with FIVE posable appendages. Write your own caption. I dare you.

Miss Emma, my niece, was a five-year-old birthday girl this weekend...

...so we had a picnic in the park!

Here's my brother Tryg, with a face only a mother could love.

And here's his momma! (She's my momma, too.)

I think this is the money shot SRS has been waiting for.

Yes, my nephew was the only kid in the park wearing a cape. But a dude has got to have some bodacious confidence in the power of the force to pull off that look. But seriously, folks...don't screw with General Grievous.

We had an afternoon of climbing...

...and crawling...

...and spinning!

I'm so jealous that her tiny butt fits in that thimble of a seat.

General Grievous needs his mom to get a splinter out of his hand.

Week 2

2008-09-14T20:40:00.016-05:00

Rupe found a little friend! How nice!

Matt waiting for an opportunity to blitz Krista.

Kevin laying down the smack because I used flash photography during the prayer.

A bunch of praying seminarians. What are the odds?

Justin and Jeff rifling through the cookies for the chocolate chip, but leaving the oatmeal raisin behind. Figures.

Rupe, proud of his patty.

Travis the Methodist wonder kid.

Ian and Tim showing off their baby bumps.

And look! A bona fide seminary produced baby!

Kilroy was here.

Chris, John and Lynne.

Brad and Havi...

...with equal network time given to Brad and Hannah.

Nothing makes a guy look more rugged than swinging a big orange plastic bat.

Krista taking a turn at bat.

Week 1

2008-09-14T19:56:00.014-05:00

My very good friend, Jeff. We've decided that WWJD actually stands for "What would Jeff do?"

Me: "Nice look, Matt!"

Matt: "Take it again and see what kind of look you get."

But Brian refuses to be outdone at the goofy looks symposium.

Me copping a squat on Matt and Krista's floor.

Chickens after napping on top of Matt's grill.

Rupe and Kate. Aren't they precious?

Morgan, spawn of Matt and Krista (with carrot in mouth).

Hannah, another spawn of Matt and Krista.

Football players praying for Grant and Cory, two undergrad aviation majors who were involved in a catastrophic plane crash. Grant passed away three days later.

Matt reading at a football game. His comment, "But Dawn, it's division three."

The snazzy new scoreboard -OR- my tuition dollars at work!